Have you ever wondered why people with obvious signs of mania won’t get help? This often happens because mania tricks those of us with bipolar into thinking that out-of-control and sometimes dangerous symptoms are actually a positive. Here’s a description of what it’s like for me.
When I’m in a euphoric manic episode, life feels wrapped in loving-kindness, with every cell infused with joy juice. (Other people might experience the flamboyant or irritable aspects of mania; for example, by becoming the life of the party or turning into an angrier Oscar the Grouch.) A rock on the ground becomes infinitely fascinating to me because my brain no longer processes information in a linear way. See how that rock has flecks of green! See how it is situated right next to the blue-green grass and how it shines in the sun! I need to take a picture! I’ll put it in in my pocket, as it will bring me luck today—this beautiful day when all things are possible. I stand up and skip down the street. What fun thing can I do next? Ah, my room needs to be rearranged. To the store! I need storage boxes! The colors are so wonderful! Look! I can get a purple box, a green one, and wow, an aqua one! My shopping cart is filling up. Oh, the delicious possibilities!
My brain has no boundaries when I’m manic—no thoughts of the work I need to do or how much money I have in my bank account.