original article on the Salon website
[...]
Both adaptive striving and perfectionism involve setting a high bar, making them hard to distinguish. Emily Bilek, Ph.D. told me the difference boils down to two factors: how explicitly defined your standards are, and how you react to not meeting them. Someone with functional pursuit of excellence might say, "I'd love to get a 94 or higher on this test, but I'll be pleased with anything over an 89," whereas many perfectionists won't be satisfied in a world in which extra credit exists. Dr. Bilek, a clinical assistant professor in the University of Michigan's department of psychiatry, tells her patients to think of a pole vault. If you're a perfectionist, the height of the bar often isn't really defined when you launch yourself into the air, and "your brain is really sneaky," she said. It'll raise the bar no matter how high you jump, always whispering, "Ah, that just wasn't good enough."
[...]
Like a good therapist, Dr. Bilek first offered me affirmation. "I love that," she said. But, in her ideal world, "We want to not only redefine perfect, but perhaps let go of that expectation of ourselves entirely." It's not enough to run an honest cost-benefit analysis around where we set the "perfect" bar. (What are the real consequences of putting in less time and effort?) Rather, she wants us to question perfectionism itself: "Ask why do I subscribe to these beliefs? Where's it coming from?" she said, "You think, 'I would never achieve what I have if it weren't for my perfectionism,' and I just want you to start wondering whether you've been successful in spite of this."
[...]
