Welcome to My Mania

By Jane H. 

Whether we discover a gene or the reason mental illness comes to be
I think that mine is due to painful events more like PTSD
One fact I seize is that it’s as real as my cancer and my heart disease
Yet I can’t freely claim it, can we stop the shame in it, please?

A question I often ask myself is “Why me?”
I’m starting to believe it’s so I could use my tendency
Toward seeing the bright side and my passion to write and share
My story which is yours too and the moral is that ‘Love is in the air’

I wish everyone could feel the joy I feel when I’m flying high
If you felt this way for even a minute, then you’d understand why
It’s exacerbated and extreme when I’m insane, but I have always felt this way
That we could all live in truth with inner peace some sweet day

If we could just bottle my pronoia just before I cross the line
We could all feel true connection and pure love all of the time
To a Deity, I imagine it’s as close as one can get
If I feel this way because of my illness, then to it, I’m forever in debt

It’s like an ever lasting positive energy that belongs to us all
I’ve had the energy in the room break a plate when no one touched it or made it fall
I’ve had a ceiling fan that was broken, all of a sudden turn on and start spinning
I’ve felt the whole world on the same team when everyone is winning

I’ve felt a true connection to those dead and alive
For us all to have these feelings is something for which I strive
I wish I knew the secret recipe to create this energy
I do believe it’s possible and it begins with you and me

My episodes are consistent with recurring thoughts and themes
Our truth is not hidden and our secrets are seen
Whether we’re kind or a bully, we come completely clean
We apologize to others if we’ve been deceitful, unlawful, or mean

Then we write our own stories making our misfortunes seem okay
If we all do this, then I think we’ll be on our way
To feeling the good stuff that’s deep down just waiting for us to feel
This is without a doubt something I believe will help us heal

I’ve written positive stories for my cancer and my heart issues
But why do I have a chemical imbalance in my brain tissues?
Why does my mania take me to a love connection that feels so right and real?
Maybe to tell you that “You are love and the world has love for you to feel”

I did not choose to be born, did you?
But I know I’m here to love and be loved and the same is true for you
This is your invitation to inner peace and for truth to surround
It’s addressed to “The true you, the very best you around!”